Black Humor

 Page 23 of 42 (821 quotes in this category)
Democracy: Four wolves and one lamb voting on lunch




Drive it like you stole it

Bumper Sticker




Jesus loves you! The rest of us think you're an asshole.

T-shirt




You can't make somebody love you. You can only stalk them and hope they give in.




If you are standing around looking stupid then you probably are.

Raymond Herrera Jones Jr.




I would be better off dead, no wait, if YOU were dead.




I feel glad for the homeless gay people, they have no closet to come out of.

Katy C.




Am I raping your virgin eyes?




Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.




Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.




Beam me up, Jesus!




Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.




I use to drink a lot. Now I sip.

COOL!




I like going to a school yard and watching all the little kids run and scream on the school grounds. Of course they don't know that I'm using blanks.




If the world didn't suck we would all fall off!

Zach Davis




When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

Despair.com




When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Despair.com




Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Keith Fanning




It's better to be a delighted pessimist than a disappointed opptimist.

Deke Leonard, "Maybe I Should've Stayed in Bed"




Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

COOL!




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