Black Humor

 Page 24 of 41 (819 quotes in this category)
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

COOL!




I've never understood people who considered youth a time of freedom and joy. It's probably because they have forgotten their own.

Margeret Atwood




A moment comes in the life of every man or woman when he or she must decide whether to be an average middleclass american who adheres to moderate political views and believes in some sort of 'higer power', or a drunken, pork eating, whoremongering infidel.

Mark Lyner, from his novel




Life is like a can of worms. Once opened, by the time you get it closed again, things are a lot more complicated than they were before.




Everything I ever needed to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.

Bumper Sticker COOL!




Save the Whales
Collect them All




A cooked bird does not fly, except under very unusual circumstances.




- Why can't Jesus play hockey?
- He keeps getting nailed to the boards.




Alot of people ask me stupid fucking questions.

Eminem on how his life has
changed since becoming famous




Slipping into madness is good for the sake of comparison.

COOL!




If capitalism works, why are there so many stupid rich people?

COOL!




I missed the boat once when I was young and stupid, but now I am able to miss the boat repeatedly with great skill and accuracy.

Jon Fishmen of Phish




I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

COOL!




Everybody has the right to be stupid, but some people abuse this right.

Stalin




The more I know people, the more I love my dog.

COOL!




You are one load your mother should have swallowed.




If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?

Jason R




Insanity chooses its victims well.

Mordikin




Satan's in a boyband.

Holly Simpson




You only call me a cynic because you're afraid I might be right.

Theresa Koys




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