Black Humor

 Page 28 of 41 (819 quotes in this category)
You know that your family is getting old when your grandma leeks more than your roof.




You never truly appreciate the beauty of a woman, until you've see the ugliness of 500 others.




My Kid would have been an Honor Student but... I had an abortion!

Bumper Sticker




I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, thats as good as they're going to feel all day.

Frank Sinatra




Beer - helping white people dance since 1837

Bumpersticker




It is people like you that make me pro-abortion.




I knew I was unwanted when my bath toys were a radio and toaster.




Video games don't ruin kids. If Pac-Man ruined us as kids, we would all be running around in darkened rooms, eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

Some T-Shirt




Incest is best: if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.




Don't marry a woman with big hands. It makes your dick look small.




If time was money then I would be fucking rich!




And I think to myself... this world is so fucked up that people can't even take a shit in a public restroom.

Wall of the Cafe Du' Monde




Don't you think it's just mildly ironic that most of the people against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?

George Carlin




I think wet dreams are actually God giving you a handjob for being so good.




"Life is like a toilet it's always full of assholes"

Bathroom Graffiti




A good friend will bail you out of jail, But your best friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!"




You say psycho like it's a bad thing.

Keychain from some store




Life is like a toilet paper roll -- it gets shorter near the end.

Heard on TV




My boyfriend told me he needed some space. I told him to join NASA.

Sophie




Failure: when your best just isn't good enough.

High School Students




01   02   03   04   05   06   07   08   09   10  
11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20  
21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30  
31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40  
41  
Next Page >>