Black Humor

 Page 35 of 41 (819 quotes in this category)
Humanity is falling in a downward spiral towards a cesspool of ignorance and simplicity. Bring your floaties.

Rian Zeleny




Stupidity killed the cat, curiosity was framed.

Amy C.




It's not that life is so short, it's just that your dead for so long.




"The best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world."

George Bush




If you think you've hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.




Worrying is good. Think of it as meditation for realists.

someone extremely wise




It's unfair to say that men spend their entire lives in pursuit of sex. That's simply not the case. We do, after all, have to eat.

Bobo The Red




There is still time for things to go horribly wrong.




The biggest argument I have with my friend is which one of us is going to rule Hell when we die. Should I worry that we argue this or that we always end up conceding that I will?

Logan Geoffrion




Don't hate people because they are of a different colour, race or sexual orientation. Hate them because, despite outward appearances, they are all human and that in itself is a terrible crime.

Patrick Burn




The world needs sadistic people like me. If there were none of us you would never be happy because you would know no sadness.

Patrick Burn




Reality is Public opinion.

Patrick Burn




Guns don?t kill people, dangerous minorities do.




Three men competing to be the most vile. The first saw a woman carrying wood atop her head. He beat her. The second tore off her clothes and raped her. The third stood back. When the other two asked what he would do to prove his wickedness, he laughed. That was my mother, he said.




I moved from Seattle, Washington to New York City. The city with the highest suicide rate to the city with the highest homicide rate. What can i say?, Im just not a "do it yourself" kinda guy!




Sleep is overrated. It's like practicing death.

T. Henry




In an autocracy, one person has his way; in an aristocracy a few people have their way; in a democracy, no one has his way.

Celia Green




All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)




Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, and land among the stars, you will probably suffocate anyway.

Dustin. C. Murus




Most of our imports come from overseas.

George Bush




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