Black Humor

 Page 4 of 42 (821 quotes in this category)
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" ...until you can find a rock.




What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.




Life's a bitch, then you die.




Life is a bitch, then you marry one.

Alternative version




Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.




Today is the last day of your life so far.




I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.




The more things change, the more they suck.

Butt-head




When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.

A. Rand




And out of the chaos, a voice spoke:

"Smile and be happy, for it can always be worse".

And I smiled, and I was happy, and it did get worse.




"You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps."

Graffiti




We are the people our parents warned us about.

Graffiti




"Does God believe in people?"

Graffiti




"The meek shall inherit the Earth - they're too weak to refuse."

Graffiti




"Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last."

Graffiti




"Cancer cures smoking."

Graffiti




"Why does free love cost so much?"

Graffiti




"If it moves, fondle it."

Graffiti




"Copulate for coexistence!"

Graffiti




"To go together is blessed, to come together is divine!"

Graffiti




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