Black Humor

 Page 7 of 41 (819 quotes in this category)
"We live in cheap an twisted times.

Our leaders are low-rent Fascists and our laws are a tangle of mockeries. Recent polls indicate that the only people who feel optimistic about the future are first-year law students who expect to get rich by haggling over the ruins... and they are probably right."

Hunter S. Thompson, "Songs Of The Doomed"




"There will always be survivors."

Robert Heinlen




If you can't lower heaven, raise hell




Order is for idiots, genius can handle chaos




The question is not if you are paranoid, it is if you are paranoid enough




A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.




I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.

Hunter McGirt




Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.




Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.

F. P. Jones




I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

Ashleigh Brilliant




A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Bob Hope




I will endure all this subhuman driveling shit with a smile.




Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.

COOL!




Submit to the present evil, lest a greater one befalls you.

Phaedrus




I'm not in denial i'm just selective about the reality i choose to acept

Calvin and Hobbes




Among modern occupations, only cult leaders and TV weathermen rival the technological visionary's ability to retain credibility despite all evidence to the contrary."

Nathan Myhrvold




He who knows and knows that he knows is a master.
He who knows and does not know that he knows needs a teacher.
He who does not know and knows that he does not know, needs love.
He who thinks he knows and does not know, is lost.

Ancient proverb




When your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep is your downfall.




There is nothing friendlier than a wet dog.




A critic is a legless man who teaches running.




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