Laughs

 Page 19 of 93 (1860 quotes in this category)
Don't pee on my leg and tell me its raining.

Alisa Rodway (and Judge Judy book, and Saturday Night Live..)




Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.




Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children.




Here's to you, Here's to me, the best of friends we'll always be, but if by chance we disagree, fuck you and here's to me.

Popular toast




Waldo is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

Saki (H. H. Munro)




Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

Matt a.k.a. NoFear




Dyslexics of the world, untie!




I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Frank Sinatra




Sects, sects, sects... Is that all you monks think about?




It's not the men in my life, but the life in my men that counts!

Mae West




First law of science: don't spit into the wind.




Excuse me, but I think my karma just ran over your dogma




Fat girls are like mopeds. There fun to ride, but you dont want anyone seeing you riding them.

T-Nutz




Besides a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx




At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Church bulletin




If a man says something in a forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?




If you pulled the wings off of a fly, would it still be called a fly, or would it be called a walk?

Marshall Bass




When asked what time it was Yogi Berra once replied "You mean now?"




If you want to survive in life, you've got to know where your towel is.

Douglas Adams




Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Frida




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