Laughs

 Page 55 of 93 (1860 quotes in this category)
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.




Uuuh nah, you got the wrong number, this is 91... 2

Chief Wiggums, The Simpsons




I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx




Don't fuck your mother!

T-shirt with a picture of Earth on it




Be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you

Dental office




STOP molesting children

On a Stop Sign in Philly, PA




Nuke their Ass and Take their Gas

Bumper Sticker




Fucked her standing
Fucked her lying
If she had wings I'd fuck her flying
But now she's dead and forgotten
So I dug her up and fucked her rotten

Bathroom Graffiti




Q: What did one tooth say to the other?

A: Better brace yourself, the dentist is coming to straighten us out!

Dental Office




Real eyes realize real lies




Me fail english? That's unpossible!

Ralph Wiggums, The Simpsons




What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

Better get some support before people think we're nuts!




Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the Lovers are french and it is all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and it is all organized by the Italians




If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat

Restroom Graffiti




Being single is like a vacuum cleaner: its sucks when you're turned on




Confucius says girl who sits on judge's lap gets honorable discharge.




Metaphors be with you.

My English Teacher




In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.

Zap Branigan, Futurama




I brake for tailgaters.

Bumper Sticker




Dad's goal: to earn enough money to live the same life as my wife and kids.

Seen on a dad's t-shirt




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