Laughs

 Page 56 of 94 (1878 quotes in this category)
Dad's goal: to earn enough money to live the same life as my wife and kids.

Seen on a dad's t-shirt




The Mighty Oak was once a tiny little nut that stood it's ground.




Everyone has something in common, they're all different.

A Thorpe




"I'm not staring at your breasts, I was reading your T-shirt!"

T-shirt




It's been swell, but the swelling's gone down .




I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Lily Tomlin




All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.




WANTED:
A tall, good-looking guy with a good
reputation, who is friends with every-
body, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5




Here I sit, same as ever,
took a dump, pulled the lever.
The toilet clogged,
the water flowed.
Look out world, it's a motherload!

Bathroom Graffiti




I pity the man whose writing ability is aroused by the smell of shit.

Graffiti in men's room at the Fleet Museum in San Diego




Stressed is just desserts spelled backwards!

T-shirt




This car protected by anti-theft sticker.

Bumper sticker




Our aim is to keep this restroom clean. Your aim would help.

Seen in a gas station bathroom




Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw a snowblower coming!!




The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.

Bob Dole




If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.

Bathroom graffiti




Abacadabra! (front) Fuck, you are still ugly! (back)

T-shirt




Anorexia is Phat.

T-shirt




And I gave that man directions even though I didn't know the way, because that's the kind of man I am this week

Homer Simpson




Marriage is like living with your best friend, except he lets you touch his boobs.

Homer, The Simpsons




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