Laughs

 Page 58 of 94 (1878 quotes in this category)
Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas

Groucho Marx




Boycott shampoo - demand the REAL poo!

Bumper Sticker




You've inspired me to think less about life and more about thongs.




More and more of our imports come from overseas...

George W. Bush




Keep Earth clean, it's not Uranus

Bumper Sticker




I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, unfortunately neither has my penis.

Tom DeLonge




Texas: Scaring the bejezzus out of the other states since 1845.

As seen on a T-shirt




Is your name sprite? cause baby you'd quench my thirst!

Bad pickup line




Those who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.




To do is to be - Socrates
To be is to do - Aristotle
Do be do be do - Sinatra




I'm Canadian. It's like an American, but without a gun.

The Kids in the Hall




Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!




One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.




I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Joe E. Lewis, 1902-1971




Do not take orally.

Warning on a Preparation H bottle




Masterbation cums in handy




Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils.

Homer Simpson




Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya




Please don't throw your toothpicks in the toilet. The crabs have learned to pole vault.

Bathroom Graffiti




When it comes to procrastinating, I do it right away.




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