Laughs

 Page 80 of 93 (1860 quotes in this category)
"Hard Work Has a future Payoff, Lazyness pays off now."

Unknown




"Kids in backseats dont cause accidents.............accidents in backseats cause kids!!"

Unknown




I bet You wish you were my homework because if you were my homework you would be hard and i would be doing you on the floor!

Unknown




If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and walks like a duck, it's unlikely to be a dog.




I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times...




One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.




Life is a tacky lounge act. You're on in five.




Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

Ronald Reagan




Ever get the feeling that in life, when your finally holding all the cards, everyone else is playing chess?

Gil Stern




If you're not supposed to eat animals then why are they made of meat?




Well, I looked in my mom's closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas: an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000.

Eric Cartman, Southpark




And the award for worst costume this year goes to ... Stan, for his stupid little clown-thing costume. Let's all point at Stan and laugh, children!

Mr Garrison, South Park




I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

Albert Einstein




But Marge, you being the cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed is simply a comfort thing.

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons




We found Jesus. He was behind the couch the whole time.

Novelty Buttons




All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

Michael Katzer




I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

Bob Hope




When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Gracie Allen




I bent my wookie.

Ralph Wiggum




Peter: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says "OOOOOO". Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Family Guy




01   02   03   04   05   06   07   08   09   10  
11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20  
21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30  
31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40  
41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50  
51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60  
61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   69   70  
71   72   73   74   75   76   77   78   79   80  
81   82   83   84   85   86   87   88   89   90  
91   92   93  
Next Page >>