Human Laws
All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into 'Best of Queen' albums.
The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.
First Law of Laboratory Work:
Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.
If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.
Love is a matter of chemistry;
sex is a matter of physics.
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
- An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
- An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation.
6. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
14. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
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